I’ll tell you a story that happened to me
One day as I went down to Cork by the sea
The sun it was high and the day it was warm
Says I an auld pint wouldn’t do me no harm
I went in and I called for a bottle of stout
Says the barman I’m sorry the beer is sold out
Try whiskey or Paddy ten years in the wood
Says I I’ll try cider I’ve heard that it’s good
O never O never O never again
If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten
I fell to the floor and I couldn’t get up
After drinking a pint of the Johnny Jump Up
After downin’ the third I went out to the yard
Where I met up with Brody the big local guard
Come here to me boy don’t you know I’m the law
Well I upped with me fist and I shattered his jaw
He fell to the ground with his knees doubled up
But it wasn’t I hit him, ’twas Johnny Jump Up
And the next thing I remember down in Cork by the sea
Was a cripple on crutches and says he to me
I’m afraid of me life I’ll be hit by a car
Would you help me across to the Celtic Knot Bar?
After downing a quart of that cider so sweet
He threw down his crutches and danced round on his feet
O never O never O never again
If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten
I fell to the floor and I couldn’t get up
After drinking a pint of the Johnny Jump Up
I went up the lee road, a friend for to see
They call it the madhouse in Cork by the Sea
But when I got there, sure truth I will tell
They had this poor bugger locked up in a cell
Said the guard, testing him, say these words if you can,
“Around the rugged rock the ragged rascal ran”
Tell him I’m not crazy, tell him I’m not mad
‘Twas only a sip of the bottle I had
O never O never O never again
If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten
I fell to the floor and I couldn’t get up
After drinking a pint of the Johnny Jump Up
A man died in the mines by the name of McNabb
They washed him and laid him right out on the slab
And after the undertaker his measurements did take
His wife took him home to a bloody fine wake
‘Twas about twelve o’clock and the beer it was high
The corpse he sat up and says he with a sigh
I can’t get into heaven for they won’t let me up
Till I bring them a drink of old Johnny Jump Up
So if you ever go down to Cork by the Sea
Stay out of the alehouse and take it from me
If you want to stay sane don’t you dare take a sip
Of that devil drink cider called Johnny Jump Up
O never O never O never again
If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten
For I fell to the floor and I couldn’t get up
After drinking a pint of old Johnny Jump Up
Tadhg Jordan (1950s?)
Johnny Jump Up – Gaelic Storm
