This is the ballad of Dan
Just a boy doing what he can
Septic tank not gonna fix itself
It’s 20 below and Jim needs your help, c’mon Dan
Christmas eve and he’s up to his knees, that’s Dan
Getting it done like he can
Boy, it’s time to start being a man
This is the ballad of Dan
Doing the best that he can
Working his way to the top of the ladder
Starting out with onion ring batter, that’s Dan
One day he cut a giant hole in his hand
Sewed up and back to the burger land
Cause that’s the way you do when you’re Dan
This is the ballad of Dan
Small town boy with a plan
Felt himself pulled by something
Had to be San Francisco or nothing for Dan
A tiny apartment without any dryer
Look at those steps could they be any higher for Dan
But he was a man with a plan
This is the ballad of Dan
Midwest boy now a west coast man
Tearing out the guts of a Raphael condo
Did it himself with a long term plan
Cherry wood cabinets and three different Japanese cans
Cause that’s the way its done by Dan
He rebuilt the house with his hands
This is the ballad of Dan
Alone in the city a single man
Till one day on a craigslist rant
Met an LA girl with 10,000 pairs of pants
Then it was Half Moon Bay and a second hand tie
See ’em together and you never ask why
‘Cause that’s Dan
He’s everybody’s favorite man
That’s Dan
He’s everybody’s favorite man
OFCM (2014)
