I’d just turned five, and on my pilla was a head full of new teeth
I quickly learned to lose one, meant a half shilling underneath
Next day I found a bit of rope, and there was three out in all
I figured I’d have enough to buy a bicycle by fall
Nice to have an income, but for me t’was too slow
Had to find a way, to take em all out in one go
Turns out me brother Sean could swing a hammer like a man
One shot from him and there’s a tenner in me hand
Me teeth are gone, me teeth are gone
You know me teeth are gone
No chewing gum or hardtack too
You know me teeth are gone
I’d have taken care of them If I’d known I’d live this long
Be sure to boil them carrots, lad
Cause you know me teeth are gone
Just sixteen I was and alone with two dozen lovely beers
A full case to meself, imagine my joyful tears
And there I was just getting started, three beers to the good
Me trusty op’ner gave out, damn thing was made of wood
All was lost dear friend, imagine what you’d think
Beer, beer everywhere but not a drop to drink
That’s when I remembered, me boy scout days of yore
One bottle cap betwixt me jaws, and then twenty more
Me teeth are gone, me teeth are gone
You know me teeth are gone
Keep your chewing gum and hardtack too
You know me teeth are gone
I’d have taken care of them If I’d known I’d live this long
Let’s try a boiled potato then
Cause you know me teeth are gone
Not half past twenty I met a girl, a lovely Irish lass
Her orange locks beguiled me through the bottom of me glass
Only took a year or two to finally make her mine
I loved her as I loved me pint, a little more sometimes
Home from the pub, one early morn, guess I might have known better
I snuck in the back door, but tripped on our old setter
To my surprise the wife stuck out her hand, which I vainly tried to kiss
Sadly t’was just the first time me incisors met her fist
Me teeth are gone, me teeth are gone
You know me teeth are gone
Keep your chewing gum and hardtack too
You know me teeth are gone
I’d have taken care of them If I’d known I’d live this long
Maybe just give us some porridge, dear
Cause you know me teeth are gone
This tale of mine no happy end, I’m miserable to say
Not a penny to me name, on my deathbed I did lay
Suddenly it came to me, like a vision in the night
All my life I’ve had bad teeth, but me dentist put it right
Each year I’d come to his door, me molars full of holes
A kindly lad he was, O’Toole, he’d fill em full of gold
Suddenly she was at my side, my wife, that good wench
She was beautiful and quite bright too, she’d thought to bring a wrench
Me teeth are gone, me teeth are gone
You know me teeth are gone
Keep your chewing gum and hardtack too
You know me teeth are gone
I’d have taken care of them If I’d known I’d live this long
Let’s skip the meal and have another round
Cause you know me teeth are gone
– Traditional Irish Folk Song (2016)
Beer, Beer, Beer – The Clancy Brothers
