By the Time I Get to Phoenix

By the time I get to Phoenix she’ll be rising
She’ll find the note I left hangin’ on her door
She’ll laugh when she reads the part that says I’m leavin’
‘Cause I’ve left that girl so many times before

By the time I make Albuquerque she’ll be working
She’ll probably stop at lunch and give me a call
But she’ll just hear that phone keep on ringin’
Off the wall, that’s all.

By the time I make Oklahoma she’ll be sleepin’
She’ll turn softly and call my name out low
And she’ll cry just to think I’d really leave her
Tho’ time and time I’ve tried to tell her so
She just didn’t know I would really go

Jimmy Webb (1965)
By the Time I Get to Phoenix – Glen Campbell

By the Time I Get Some Kleenex (parody version)

By the time I get some Kleenex I’ll be dripping
I’ll have a wad of snot hanging from my nose
We’re completely out of paper towels and tissues
Guess I’ll stand out in the yard and use the hose

By the time I stop this sneezing, I’ll be desp’rate
I’ll be using unmatched socks and underwear
And I haven’t done the laundry
And it’s pretty gross in there

By the time I make a booze run and get Kleenex
Hope my nasal passages will clear
And a couple Benadryl to stop the hacking
My allergies act up this time of year
And there’s nothing that can’t be fixed by beer

– Rick Duncan (2003)